Duck for President

  
Adapted from a book by: Doreen Cronin
Illustrated by: Betsy Lewin
  
  
Characters:
 – Narrator 1  (N. 1)
 – Narrator 2  (N. 2)
 – Duck
 – Farmer Brown  (AKA: F. Brown)
 – Horse
 – Governor
 – President
 – Crowd: Cows, Sheep, Mice
    
F. Brown: Running a farm is very hard work!” 

N. 1: At the end of each day, Farmer Brown is covered, from head to toe, in hay, horsehair, seeds, sprouts, feathers, filth, muck, and coffee stains.” 

Horse:
Pee-You!! He doesn’t smell very good!!” 

F. Brown: The animals have chores to do! Horse, clean under the beds. Cow, weed the garden. Sheep, sweep the barn. Duck, take out the trash, mow the lawn, and grind the coffee beans!” 

N. 2: Duck did not like to do chores.” 
  
Duck:
I do not like to do my chores, because I will be picking out grass, and espresso beans, from my feathers! YUCK! Why is Farmer Brown in charge, anyway? What we need is an election!!” 
 
N. 2:
So Duck made a sign, and he hung it in the barn.” 
 
N. 1:
The sign read: Farmer Brown MUST GO!! Farm election tomorrow!” 
  
N. 2:
The next morning, Farmer Brown found a poster on his front door.” 
 
N. 1:
The sign read: Vote DUCK! For a kinder, gentler, farm!” 

F. Brown: What? I am so furious!” 
 
N. 2:
So the farmer marched down to the barn, to find the animals registering to vote.” 
 
Duck:
Please, register to vote! Your vote matters! All voters MUST: Live on the farm, show valid I.D., be at least this tall.”  (pointing in an upward motion)

Mice:
Hey! We protest number 3!!!” 

Duck:
Ok, fair enough! We will scratch this requirement off.” 
 
N. 1:
Election Day has arrived, and the votes were posted on the barn wall. Farmer Brown had 6 votes, and Duck had 20 votes.” 

F. Brown:
I demand a recount!” 

Horse:
Oops! Here is another ballot that was sticking to me.” 

N. 2:
The new tally was in, with Farmer Brown at 6 votes, and Duck now with 21 votes.” 
 
Duck:
The animals have spoken! I am now officially in charge!” 

N. 1:
“Now, at the end of each day, Duck was covered, from head to toe, in hay, horsehair, seeds, sprouts, feathers, filth, mud, muck, and coffee stains.” 
 
Duck:
Running a farm is not fun at all!!” 

N. 2:
That night, Duck and his staff started working hard for his new campaign. Duck decided he would run for Governor.” 

Crowd 
*holding up signs*: Vote for Duck! Vote for Duck! Not a Politician!” 

Duck:
Farmer Brown, you are in charge of the farm, while I am away campaigning.” 
 
N. 1:
Duck went to visit small towns, he marched in parades, and he gave speeches to other ducks that could understand him.” 
 
N. 2:
The votes were counted, and the results were in.” 
 
Governor:
What? Duck wins by a nose!! I lost by one vote! I demand a recount!” 
 
N. 2:
2 sticky ballots were found on the bottom of a plate of pancakes, and the new results were in!! The Governor had 300 thousand votes, and Duck had 300 thousand and 3 votes. So, Duck wins by 3 votes!” 
   
Governor:
The voters have spoken, and Duck is officially in charge!” 
      
N. 1:
At the end of every day, Duck was covered, from head to toe, in hair spray, ink stains, scotch tape, fingerprints, mayonnaise, and coffee stains.” 
   
Duck:
Running a state is very hard work! I have a very bad headache! This is not fun!” 
 
N. 2:
That night Duck and his staff started working very hard for a new campaign. Duck decided that it would be best to run for President.  So he hit the campaign trail.” 

Crowd
*holding up signs*:  A DUCK FOR A CHANGE!! Duck! MAKING Us PROUD AGAIN! I LIKE DUCK! 
 
N. 1:
He kissed babies at local diners, rode in parades, gave speeches that only ducks would understand, and even played the saxophone on the late-night TV.” 
   
N. 2:
Election Day was here, and the ballots have been counted. The results were announced on CNN. Mr. President had 50 million votes, and Duck had 50 million and 5 votes.” 

Mr. President:
I demand a recount!” 

N. 1
 “10 sticky ballots were sticking to the bottom of the Vice-President. The new tally was in. Mr. President had 50 million votes, and Duck had 50 million and 15 votes.” 
     
Mr. President:
The voters have spoken, and Duck is now officially in charge!”   
    
Duck:
Running a country is very hard work, and I have a very bad headache!” 
   
N. 2:
At the end of each day, Duck was covered, from head to toe, in face powder, paper cuts, staples, security badges, Secret Service agents, and coffee stains.”   
 
N. 1:
Then Duck checked the help-wanted ads.” 
  
Duck 
*reading quietly*:  Duck Needed! No experience necessary. Must be able to mow the lawn and grind coffee beans. “Hmm.” 
       
Duck: Mr. Vice President, you are in charge! I am going back to the farm!” 
 
N. 2:
At the end of each day, Farmer Brown is NOW covered, from head to toe, in hay, horsehair, seeds, sprouts, feathers, filth, mud, muck, and coffee stains.” 
  
N.1:
And Duck, is working on his autobiography!” 
 
All:
THE END!”